Sunday 27th December 2009 Rainy

I don't know why but I find it hard to express myself.

Sometimes its not that I don't take that certain thing to heart

but it's because I just don't know how to express myself.

Like when I am upset about something

I just find it hard to say that I am upset about it.

Instead I put up a strong front and looked like

I didn't bother about that certain thing.

However, I know that its not true.

Like sometimes my father would complain how

I did not care for my grandparents when

I did not apper upset when my grandma got sick.

This is not it.

Of course I care for them but what did he want me to do ?

Roll on the floor then cry out loud ?

Sometimes I feel people around me don't know me

Well to understand how I am feeling

18 December 2009 Rainy Friday

I realized that people can be unfair and the world is also unfair.

It's just how you deal with it.

My brother came to stay at my aunt's house today and as always...

I get the unfair treatment AGAIN !

I was trying to sleep but how can I with my brother in my room and with the lights on, making a lot of noise.

Being irritated like always, I shouted at hin to get out of my room and you know what my aunt reply me ?

"You want to sleep then sleep make so much noise for what ?"

It definetly made me feel that she was being bias.

Then around 6pm I woke up from my sleep and my aunt just bought dinner back for us.

I ask her what did she bought and she told me 'prawn noodles'.

Then I asked her what she bought for my brother and she just smile at me and of course I knew what she bought.

She bought for me a 3 dollars packet of noodles and bought for my brother a 8 dollars dinner which she promised she will buy for me but she DIDN'T.

And she can somemore tell me "Aiyo... Man Man... I buy for you the next time kay ?"

Trust me.... The next time will never come

Sunday 7th December 2009 Rainy

Today we had cellgroup in the morning and I finally got the chance to play the guitar after waiting for so many years. I realize something which someone once said to me which is so true, promotion comes from God ! My patience and hardwork had pay off. I finally get to do what I really love and serve God at the same time. I am also very happy because one of my very good and close friend Ai Wei recently got attacth. I am very happy for her and that she found her half apple young. As long as you set your piorities right, when the time comes God will reveal to you more things. Such simple things like relationships, dreams and even rising up in the church all comes from God. Whatever he give us is what he chosen because he knows that, that is the best for us !