 Do you actually know me? Do you know who I really am ? Though I smile, there's something I am hiding and I can't find a way to relate with the people around me. Sometimes I pretend to be happy, to be busy when inside I just wants to cry out loud. Why not take a look at my life and put yourself in my shoes ? And maybe you'll see why I wait for the day when it comes. I realized people just can't seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface. I feel myself retreating back to where I am now.  With her cries, she finally understands ...She was already done It's the end of her dreams I was crying out for someone to save me. For the person to protect and be there for me. However, I realized that it's all over. No matter how much I shout your name, you are not going to show up. It ended up with someone else. This is the harsh cruelty of life that everyone have to face including myself. What can I do now ??? Nothing else to do. It's already over. Over for all my dreams and aspirations. Everything has now ended Forget it !  The camera is the only thing that can capture each single memory and that is something I agree on. I want every moment of my life to be in the beautiful part of the memory. I realized that life is like a never ending series of drama and I have learned to face it.  HOPE I will continue carrying on even with that small hope that seems to fade any moment. There will come a time that the people important to you will have to leave you. Not because they get tired of you, but because of circumstances. If someone ever leave you, it's not because they want to, but they are left with no choice but to go. They may not be with you, physically, but they will be with you in your memories.  In this world there exist only two kinds of people: the weak and the strong. It is the role of the weak to succumb to the strong. ‘Survival of the fittest’, as Charles Darwin wisely noted on the topic of evolution. One must become strong in order to survive the harsh cruelties of this journey we humans call ‘life’. 
Life is can be cruel yet it can be something beautiful at the same time. It only depends on how we look at it. Life, life, life... Life is very cruel. A little bit longer and I'll be fine. Life is very very short. You will never know what will happen the next mintue. At least I have a little hope it God. Our Madrigal I looked up into the dark night sky filled with many bright stars as the moonlight reflection can be seen in the puddle of water that was right in front of me. I could feel the cool breeze hitting on my tear stained cheeks as I gently click on a button on my handphone as a soft light melody was being played. My body shivered as a surge of memories flow into my mind. I chose not to cry. I chose not to give in to the pain and hurt that was piercing through my heart. My lips began to quiver as my hand tremble with my phone in my hands. I was trying to hold in the tears that was about to fall but failed badly. Is there any chance that we can go back to the past and rekindle it again ? I shook my head as if i was trying to convince myself that it will not happen. I don'tunderstand why I am torturing myself like that. After all, I know whatever that happened between him was just an act and pretense. He was already with my best friend and nothing can change that. My husband dating my best friend. How ironic is that ? I know I am not allowed to fall in love with him as part of the agreement but my heart just gave him gradually. This song belonged to me and him once but now it belonged to them. Our madrigal that belongs to us five years back now was no longer sung and heard after the break up. Not until we made a marraige agreement but hearing the song again have become something he hated. No longer were the eyes of love that he once gave me as they were filled with fakeness and pretense. I felt my knees touching the ground in weakness as I crumbled down. My head hit the dirty ground as my vision blured. I only can hear a low famillar voice shouting my name as the song fade together with my vision and I was completely black out.  It wasn’t meant to be like this. We all make mistakes in life, How far you let that mistake go is the turning point ? The point where you know you can’t turn back. You can’t retrieve anything just looking at the past, All that is left are broken memories and shattered hopes Mistakes are made everyday. Mine just happened to be more severe. Something that had changed everything,And that couldn’t be reversed. I doubt that such a mistake could be forgiven.  What hurts the most when your love is one sided? I am secretly in love with him. Every time I tried to express my feelings, I failed. It hurts me so much when he’s talking about another girl. I kept this pain to myself but how can I make him notice my love when I'm too afraid to tell him. All these I can endure and wait for that miracle day. But can I endure it any longer when I am really going to lose him forever? Will I tell him my feelings or will I let go? Is it too late for him to know about my feelings? Falling in love was very hard for me. I never really believe in love and I thought that no one could ever make me fall in love. But I was wrong. When I first enter the *ahem* zone, I just suddenly fell for him. I remember it very clearly how I met him. It all happened three years ago. The way his eyes looked at me made me stutter over my speeches. I remember him bending down slighty reaching to my height and giving me the memerizing sunshine smile. Now of these days, no longer was the bright smile present. The look he gave are all full of sadness and distance. I am always here watching you and as long as you are happy. I will be too. Thank you my angel 
今天换一个人依靠， 明天谁又比谁好； 爱看不到， 听不到， 怎么做比较。。
Loving you makes me learn the taste of loneliness |
If I became a memory - withdrew from this life Leaving you startled and weeping My ice-cold body No longer able to embrace you Thinking that I'll leave you, the one I love To travel among the sea of people alone I will hate myself For being so heartless Germaine. I am just an ordinary girl with big dreams. I am a follower of Christ who just wants to do greater things. I am a twitter freak who wants to tweet every single mintute I can. I am a guitarist wanting to rock out whenever I can. I am a pianist wanting to write songs to speak to others && I am a drummer so I can vent my anger on the drums, I am a violinist wanting to play violin to calm myself down. I am a family member of w449 and wants to love this family even more(: W449!;D Yao Yao Wee Kiat Jiro Wang Calvin Chen Aaron Yan Wu Chun ShoutMix chat widget November 2009 l December 2009 l January 2010 l February 2010 l March 2010 l April 2010 l May 2010 l designed by: dreamwalker powered by: blogger game scripted by: Lancer picture from: StockStash |
